It's time to wipe the slate clean.
I need a clean slate…perhaps to the point of deleting everything 'old' on this blog and starting anew.
My husband thinks it weird that I would do something silly like that, like burn all my old journals.
When we first got married my husband used to burn all his trash «that sounds so white-trash-back-woods-Indiana doesn't it». One day when I was unpacking boxes I stumbled across my old journals and I took them outside to be burned.
“Why would you want to do that? Don't you want to go back and re-read them to see how far you've come?”
Uhhhh NO…that's not what journal writing is for me. For me journal writing is putting the ‘yuck’ on paper so I can let it go…why would I want to read yuck?
But this blog has never been ‘my’ journal, so I decided not to delete anything, just start a new book and new chapters.
I've been pondering 2015 probably more then any other 'new year'.
Well, probably because it's the year I turn 40 and I have so much I still want to do!
So I have resolved to be more organized,
together adult and free-spirited/not-give-a-flying-f#&k-what-anyone-else-thinks.
Since I have truly struggled with all of that—and what to do with this blog—I have decided that this is going to be my ‘home-base’. This blog was such a big part of my life before marriage «and kids»…a time in my life that was so much simpler…a piece of my life that is missing…that I feel I have unfinished business with.
Well this is the year I get some of that back, and find the closure in the parts that can never be recaptured.
Seriously, just typing this is making my chest tight. I have some major anxiety around it.
But, if this is the visual organization of my life—good, bad and ugly—I think I can make it work.
And if I just take it one day at a time…it's nowhere near as scary.
But taking things ‘one day at a time’ is not my strong suite «more on that sometime later».
Things I have on my list to find a way to add here: my craft project list (current/future) and progress; my goals for the year and progress and my business-both crafting and graphic design/marketing. Plus who knows what else.
I hope and pray that this time is different—one day at a time…right?
Labels: 2015, book, chapter, chatter, plan, planning